Laughter - The Best Medicine

The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor in a month and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' 

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. 
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!' 
 

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' 
 

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.' 

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' 

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?  You know... the one that's red and has thorns.' 

'Do you mean a rose?' 

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' 
 

 During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember… 

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 

'Sure..' 

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 

'No, I can remember it.' 

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. 

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' 

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..

She stares at the plate for a moment. 
'Where's my toast ?' 
 

'Yep!' 

'Do I know her?' 

'Nope!' 

'This woman, is she good looking?' 

'Not really.' 

'Is she a good cook?' 

'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 

'Does she have lots of money?' 

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 

'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 

'I don't know.' 

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 

'Because she can still drive!' 
 

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' 

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' 

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..' 
 

'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 

'Twelve thirty..' 
 

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman in his arm. 

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' 

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' 

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' 
 

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' 
 

SOME TEACHINGS OF CONFUCIUS. 
Now we know why Confucius was a renowned sage!

A brief note for those interested:

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve :-


to ...

Old Dog 
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading ...

Black Robbers (A True Story) 
For anyone who didn't see the episode of David Letterman's show where this story was told, read this: (And remember it's a true story...)

On a recent ...